Where has the time gone????
We had an exciting day. And it was beautiful out! I am much to worn out to post about it all tonight, but I did want to share a some things I put on Facebook!
Ready for a long story? 12 years and 2 days ago I was finishing up a longgggg day… First it was the trip from Shoals, IN to Evansville, IN ( 1.5 hrs), during which we got pulled over. See we decided to drive by the home we were planning to sign papers on with in a week. We had been living with my parents, looking for a place since right after Christmas. And, as we were pulling onto I64 from Lynnville, Matt was spotted without his seatbelt…grrr…lol! Ok, fine. But then the cops wanted to use us to practice their drug dogs. Guess my old 86 olds looked pretty trashy. But, hey! We were young and it is what we had! So once we got the all clear, we were ready! Heading for our LAST date night before having children. See at 41.5 weeks, I was to be induced at midnight (if I knew then what I do now… ) Ok, seatbelts? Check! But then the car wouldn’t start. So we had to have it towed. Gosh, I wondered if we would even get to have our date. Matt’s dad came to get us and, bless him, took us and picked us up for our date. We kept it all close, Red Lobster, Showplace South (you know I can’t even remember what we saw…). Then on to St. Mary’s! And to meet our daughter!! I had it all planned!!! A natural birth, no drugs, breastfeeding right away (my heart was in the right place, but I was young and uninformed)!
We checked in at the Emer Rm at midnight and they wheeled me up to labor and delivery. There were no nice rooms, I got stuck in a closet of a laboring room for several hours. This was before the renovations were finished! When I was asked by a nurse if I was having contractions, I said no, but 20 min later with the monitor on, we found out otherwise. That should have been a clue to leave and do it on my own, but no car, and excitement kept me in place. I was already contracting, afterall, this was going to be a piece of cake!
6AM, and only about 2 hrs of sleep, due to all the preparations that had to be done, some family members started showing up. Entirely too early. I was too scared to say please come later, we need to rest. I was too nervous to stand up for myself. Time had no meaning for me most of the rest of the day. As I labored, my water broke, I walked, I hurt. HOURS…2cm…HOURS…3cm. I swear if I ever hear “Do we have a baby yet?” again I may smack someone. Late afternoon, at least 16 hrs in, I’d say, I asked for an epidural. I was only about 3-4 cm. And SO tired… Luckily my mom was there and made everyone clear the room after so we could rest a bit. Matt laid his head beside me on the bed.
Time had no meaning…
I woke in a different room. Matt was so worried. I couldn’t stay awake, I was shaking from the drugs. I was offered my baby. I couldn’t even hold her. My arms were weak and I was shaking so hard. I silently kept my broken heart to myself. Nothing had turned out the way I wanted. I was too young to let my voice be heard. I had no control over any of the process. I was so worn out and tired, I was so sad…
An hour later we tried again. I looked at her. She was beautiful! God gave her to me! It wasn’t ideal and I learned a LOT, but she was perfect!
I have never told the story like this. I often leave a lot out, there is still a lot left out. But it is my baby girl’s 12th birthday tomorrow! 12!! I have been a mommy 12 years. What an amazing blessing she has been. Even though she frustrates me, because she is hard headed like daddy. Thank you, God, for Isabelle! Happy Birthday Pee!
It is Isabelle Autumn’s 12th birthday! She likes being outside; fishing, hunting, climbing trees, foraging. .. She loves to read even though I couldn’t get her to hardly pick up a book until 4th grade. She loves animals and raises rabbits. She has talked a out being a wildlife photographer or animal rehabilitator. She has a strong mind and will (if it is what she wants). She wears mostly skirts that hit right below her knee and is often seen with an Amish hat on. She hates jeans and has no wish to pretend to be an adult like most girls her age, by wearing makeup and padded bras. She is learning to play drums, slowly. Her taste buds are changing. She used to not care for potatoes or cheesecake now she enjoys them. She enjoys old things and living life in a way more old fashioned. She doesn’t care too much for cooking or sewing, but she gets to anyway sometimes. She has an herb garden. She is fascinated by healing herbs. She knows that eating real food is important and chooses it. She is growing into quite the young woman!